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# Do you know how much porn I used to watch? And I'm a girl. And I like girl-on-girl the best. Straight porn just bores me. Been there, seen that. # I frequently toil with my sexual orientation. # I hate that acting aloof is often how my awkwardness manifests itself. # I hate that so many of my new friends see me as shy, because I am really the exact opposite of that, I'm just shy when I'm uncomfortable. This is actually manifestation number 2 for my awkwardness. # It always takes me a long time before I trust new friends with my biggest secret. But once I tell you, I am TRUSTING you. Do not break that confidence. Trusting people is very rare for me now. I've had my trust broken by those closest to me, COUNTLESS times in the past. So if I trust you, DON'T FUCK UP. # I fall in love with celebrities. # I am reluctant to fall for people. Not afraid, just reluctant. I live in denial in the period of time when I realize I may be interested in someone. # These will all be of the same color and importance because it will piss me off to deny them all equality. And I'm anal and I find it distracting for them to be different colors. I don't want lesser colors to be seen as unimportant, everything we disclose is important. # It is really important that people find me funny. I feel terrible when people don't. # I am passionate about music and movies and I wish I could have a career pertaining to both. Maybe I can. # Compliments make me really uncomfortable because I almost never agree so they feel like lies. I'm sorry I don't accept them correctly. # I am always optimistic for others, but very rarely for myself. # I'm worried no one will love me the way I love the celebrities I adore like Anthony Kiedis, Trent Reznor and Gael Garcia Bernal. That's so embarassing. # I am most attracted to older men. Primarily in their 30s and 40s. I've been this way since I was in grade school. But it really intensified freshman year of high school with my crushes on teachers, and now in college too with my crushes on professors. I'd really like to sleep with a professor. Not necessarilly one I've already had, but yeah I am definitely that girl. # I wish I could dress the way I want to. I think we all fake our sense of style. It has to be created, we pick out the clothes and then wear them. We style our own hair. Everything and everyone's identity is fake in this way. It never just is what it is. It's always forced. # I sometimes wonder if my attraction and tendency towards older men stems from my lack of a closer relationship with my father. I really worry about this. # I applied for a job and went and got stoned 2 hours later. Now if and when they call I have to tell them I am no longer interested in a job. All just to avoid a drug test. I am so ashamed of myself for being this irresponsible. # I HATE how you constantly misquote things you claim to love! # I hate that you spend most of your time with the one person I ever truly felt close to. # I hate that there are so many things to hate about you considering we've been best friends for nearly 13 years. # I sometimes feel like you try to hurt me. I really think you just don't care at all who you hurt on your way to whatever it is you think you're gaining from your meaningless experiences. # I have this horrible habit of falling in love with celebrities. Maybe I have an affinity for the unattainable. Or maybe it's to keep myself from ever really getting hurt and putting myself out there. # I feel like I have so much love to give, but I can't find anyone worth giving it to. And I'm tired of waiting and just assuming or expecting to eventually meet someone. If you truly exist, where the hell are you? # I'm a sucker for a man with a beautiful face.
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